Dreams/nightmares

There have been so many times I have thought of something I wanted to write on here, blog posts I started in my mind or even an actual post online. However, we are in the middle of an international move and quite frankly, I haven't been able to dedicate as much time as I'd like to recovery activities.

Last night, after 2 very busy days of moving out of our apartment, we crashed into bed at our hotel at 10, which is about 3 hours earlier than we've gone to bed in a week. I was exhausted.

I woke up sometime in the middle of the night after a horrible dream. In it, I had just discovered my husband acting out. When I was shocked that he didn't seem too broken up about breaking his streak of sobriety, he just laughed and said I was foolish for believing he hadn't all this time.

I'm not one who feels like I get inspiration from dreams necessarily. But it was just a vivid enough dream that I can't shake it from my mind. It just reminded me that I have reason to doubt him. I am trying to rebuild trust but in the back of my mind I am often worried that I am going to discover that my trust has been broken again.