Letting Go

Tonight my husband and I were reading out of the appendix of He Restoreth My Soul and in it there is a man discussing what has worked for him as he has worked on his recovery.

He was talking about letting go of lustful thoughts.  There is a difference between just saying "ok, I let go of that thought" and doing something more with it.  The man suggested visualizing handing over a lustful thought to the Savior and watching Him struggle with it.  My husband and I had a good conversation about that and what it meant for him.

Well immediately after we did our reading for the night, my husband talked to me about a struggle that he had today.  I felt his humility and his honesty while he was telling me, but yet I was still just feeling the usual hurt that comes along with the questions of "why would you do that?!"  I thanked him for telling me then left to go have some time to myself so I could process my thoughts and emotions.

I have had lots of questions before about what it means to let go of something and truly, completely forgive and how do you know when it has happened.

So tonight as I was thinking, I went in my daughter's room to hold her while she was asleep.  There is something just so sweet and peaceful about a sleeping baby.  As I was holding her, I was saying a prayer about how I didn't want my husband to have to carry the guilt and the pain and temptation around with him any more than I wanted to have the hurt and pain.  That was when I made the connection that I could use that visual imagery to hand over my pain to my Savior.

One point the book makes is that Heavenly Father can't force you to let go of anything, and He won't take it from you unless you give it up.  I am now trying to figure out what exactly I need to do to completely let go of whatever I may be holding on to from the past, and then I can do as I did tonight.  I pictured myself walking up to my Savior.  I told him what was going on and how I was feeling, adding that I knew He already knew all of that.  Then I asked Him if He could take it from me, since He has already suffered for it anyway.  It was an incredibly powerful experience and for me it just gave me a little bit more of an insight into the Atonement and forgiveness.