Letting Go

Tonight my husband and I were reading out of the appendix of He Restoreth My Soul and in it there is a man discussing what has worked for him as he has worked on his recovery.

He was talking about letting go of lustful thoughts.  There is a difference between just saying "ok, I let go of that thought" and doing something more with it.  The man suggested visualizing handing over a lustful thought to the Savior and watching Him struggle with it.  My husband and I had a good conversation about that and what it meant for him.

Well immediately after we did our reading for the night, my husband talked to me about a struggle that he had today.  I felt his humility and his honesty while he was telling me, but yet I was still just feeling the usual hurt that comes along with the questions of "why would you do that?!"  I thanked him for telling me then left to go have some time to myself so I could process my thoughts and emotions.

I have had lots of questions before about what it means to let go of something and truly, completely forgive and how do you know when it has happened.

So tonight as I was thinking, I went in my daughter's room to hold her while she was asleep.  There is something just so sweet and peaceful about a sleeping baby.  As I was holding her, I was saying a prayer about how I didn't want my husband to have to carry the guilt and the pain and temptation around with him any more than I wanted to have the hurt and pain.  That was when I made the connection that I could use that visual imagery to hand over my pain to my Savior.

One point the book makes is that Heavenly Father can't force you to let go of anything, and He won't take it from you unless you give it up.  I am now trying to figure out what exactly I need to do to completely let go of whatever I may be holding on to from the past, and then I can do as I did tonight.  I pictured myself walking up to my Savior.  I told him what was going on and how I was feeling, adding that I knew He already knew all of that.  Then I asked Him if He could take it from me, since He has already suffered for it anyway.  It was an incredibly powerful experience and for me it just gave me a little bit more of an insight into the Atonement and forgiveness.

Faith vs Fear

A woman speaking in church today said "God is so good, I could never be unhappy with anything He chooses to give me."

While I personally can't say that I am never unhappy with anything God chooses to give me, it was something interesting to think about.

God wants us to be happy, He only wants the best for us. He knows that by sending us the trials He chooses to send us that it is the best thing for us at that time in our lives. That doesn't suddenly make things easier, but to me it does bring hope.

Tonight as we did family scriptures before putting our daughter to bed, we were reading in Helaman chapter 5. It is where Nephi and Lehi are in prison and are overshadowed by a dark cloud (verse 28). Then a voice speaks to them in verses 29-30. Verse 34 talks about the people being immovable because of the fear that came upon them. Then Verse 41 really stuck out to us. It talks about how they needed to "repent, and cry unto the voice, even until ye shall have faith in Christ."


It was a nice comparison for me from verse 34 to verse 41 to show that faith and fear cannot coexist. They were afraid and unable to move, then they were told to pray until they had faith.

I can take the small glimmers of hope that I get every once in a while and use them to help me pray until I have faith, driving the fear away. I would love to be able to say that I am not afraid of anything God chooses to give me, because I know He will also help me get through it.